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As antiquated as the notion is, are you afraid you'll never meet "The One"? Have you considered that maybe you might be "The One" for you?
Last year, in a symbolic ode to what many are calling “sologamy,” a writer from Brooklyn named Erika Anderson joined the long and proud tradition of marrying herself. She held a ceremony for herself, and things have been going her way ever since.
“We’re living in a country where there are more single women than ever before,” Erika explained in an interview with ATTN. “We don’t have to depend on a man for economic benefit.”
Erika read a passage from Rebecca Traister’s All The Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of the Independent Nation at the small ceremony held for friends and family. She explains that while her self-marriage ceremony was “slightly frivolous and silly,” it was also meant to be a powerful statement that she was unwilling to conform to the so-called requirements of an adult woman, which she felt included marriage. Her decision to ignore the premise of a need for a partner, which seemed to her to fall on women more than men, was an act of rebellion towards the status quo. (She also notes that her ceremony was more symbolic than anything, as self-marriage is not technically recognized by the government as a legal union.)
“I don’t think [self-marriage] is very radical,” she told ATTN. “We’re just using a patriarchal ploy, something that already exists that we already agreed as a society matters, and we’re taking that and applying it to ourselves.”
She's not alone, either: self-marriage advocate Jeff Levine explained the practice to ATTN as "about honoring and being positive to the individual," and making a vow to "forgive, honor, [and] love" yourself. He also says that "The direction of media has been more about single women wanting to have a ring on or not needing a partner," which isn't the aim of the sologamy and self-marriage movements.
Having a partner can be a lot of fun, but Erika’s self-marriage is a great reminder that romantic love is certainly not a requirement. Ending up in a relationship, as Cher reminds us, isn’t not much a necessity as a fun, possible luxury – one of many, many available additions to a fulfilling life.
Erika’s story is also fairly reflective of the times. A record number of Americans have never been married, and the age of marriage has gotten higher over the years. While this might not symbolize a total shift towards a sologamous lifestyle for all, there's never been a better time to explore all your options.
Want more relationship stories from Teen Vogue? Check this out: These Teens Broke Up Over a Spotify Playlist
